In full compliance with past columns and my then impending fatherhood I will here by submit my joyous rant on the exceptional nature of now being a Punk Rock Dad. As you'll see from Tony's column he has also submitted a column on the joys of birth/parenthood and with Becs being only a matter of days older than our own little girl it was cool when he called me, somewhat under nourished and knackered, and gave me his news.

It was not but two days later that at the crack of dawn or 4.30am to be exact that Sam's waters broke and we figured things we're on the way that we started to get our bags together and took a taxi to hospital.

Well by 6pm the same night nothing was happening and we were just sitting around waiting for things to happen and when nothing did we were a little disappointed. Also by then we just wanted to go home, hospitals aren't the most interesting places and the tapes that had been spun over and over again we're becoming a little tedious and the TV and radio were just non starters. We wanted to be in our own abode, but they wouldn't let us out! We felt like prisoners but the reason for this incarceration was because Sam's waters had broke and apparently they can't let you go home or you and the baby are open to infection. So we were in there for the night.

The midwives were really cool and supportive and we were informed that if nothing had happened during the night that we could think about having a drip to kick start things a little.

So I spent a night on the floor of the hospital room (hmm… comfy?!) and in the morning nothing had happened so we opted for the drip. Within a couple of hours things started to happen. I have to say at this point that the birth experience is one of the strangest and most wonderful experiences I've ever had. On my part of playing a supporting role and bystander to all the ups and downs of the whole experience I found it very much like a rollercoaster - one minute your shouting encouragement to your partner like they're about to score in a FA Cup final. The next you're trying to support them through some intense contractions that you just know are unlike any pain they've experienced - the worst thing being you can't do anything to take away that pain and it's like you've got on the rollercoaster and it isn't going to stop until the ride stops.

So I won't go into too much detail as.. well Tony has done that really and apart from Sam not having to have a caesarean things do happen that scare the living shit out of you. You can never prepare for these things but cutting to the chase at 8.50pm that night Sam gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Ellie that we are so proud of she weighed in at 7lb 6oz. Sam was completely drained and had lost a lot of blood during the birth.
Also she had suffered during her pregnancy with a complication called Pubis Symphesis Dysfunction which basically causes severe pain in the joints and bones of the pelvis. This meant she had a much more painful birth and also that she was restricted to only two positions to give birth in, otherwise she could risk breaking the pubis which could cripple her legs.

It's a rare but serious problem but luckily for us the Physio at Hull's Maternity Hospital was an expert on the subject and helped us before the birth and gave Sam safe exercises after the birth.

Those early days were a new experience as you have another person in your house who is a feeding, shitting, pissing and attention needing machine that requires 24 hours a day looking after. We quickly settled into the parental role and took shifts at attending our cute but time consuming little offspring. As Sam had to rest her pubis as much as possible, I took the night shifts and things seemed a little topsy turvey in those first few weeks. On top of that we were in undated with family and imposing Health Visitors and Midwives. In fact it all gets a bit much as you have to conveyer-belt people through your home that all want to hold the baby and basically… piss you off big style. None of them offer to make a cuppa or anything but look indignantly at you as if it's you duty to provide the hospitality despite being completely shagged out and able to fall asleep standing up if you're giving the opportunity. The health visitors were the worst and in the end we told them to fuck off.

We knew what we were doing and they were treating us like cretins and they seemed irritated when we answered their questions correctly and didn't want to ask them anything. Apart from interfering people though Ellie was a joy to look after and when I had to go back to work after 2 weeks Paternity leave I really missed her. She's such a little character and even at an early age very active, full of attitude and totally aware of the world around her. I could go on but I've run out of space so I'll sign off here… Rick Happy - a proud Dad.