You know, I thought this scene was a little different to the mainstream. I've always hoped that the individuals involved within the "Punk rock scene" were above the entrapments of regular society. Oh sure, I know we all gotta live in the real world, but I believed, that for the most part, we tried to break down some of the bullshit barriers and attitudes that make life so miserable and turgid elsewhere.

But certain attitudes I've experienced lately and things that I've seen written in zines that are produced by people I thought I respected and that I thought were decent, honest human beings, have let me down...big time.

This is difficult to explain, it's a grey area and it's very hard not to be hypocritical and judgmental in my stance, actually I'm not taking a stance, I'm just pointing out some bullshit attitudes that make me wonder whether there's any validity in this entire scene and the people involved when it comes down to the old chestnut of "Respect". Are we just a bunch of fucking liars saying the correct things only to appease others when in fact our minds are working in different circles? Has every right on punker a hidden agenda? Do the things I see that I hate just make me feel that way because I know that I am capable of feeling/acting the same, but fight a constant inner battle to dispel such inherited traits and try to elevate myself to becoming a better human being? Maybe.

I'm not perfect, not in any department. I have big faults in my make-up and I admit to them quite openly. I have opinions that sometimes don't reflect the attitude and stance of what is perceived to be "Correct". It's not like I'm racist, homophobic, sexist or anything. I just sometimes say things that buck the PC wagon and to be honest, so many times it is done just to wind up the faction of people that can't laugh at anything, not even themselves, I like to laugh, to be in a room full of people laughing as one is more inspiring than 90% of most punk rock shows. If we can laugh together, then we can walk together, and as a once good band used to say: "If we can walk together, then we can rock together". I'm not on some big crusade to unite the scene, I just have to expose the faults that I think should be addressed and which I hope can be repaired through ourselves with a little self analysis.

So anyway, I was reading this zine written by a guy who I like. I don't know him that well really, but I respect him and he's got a lot of good things to say which are backed up by his hardwork in helping to keep this scene alive by supporting, participating and involving himself a lot more than most others, including myself. His fanzine is extremely well written, absorbing and personal, in fact it reads like a collection of diary entries, which are for the most part thoroughly engaging and extremely open.

But on some of his more recent work, I've noticed a trend in his writing which disturbs me. It's a natural trend and he's being honest about his emotions, but it still gets me to think about how damaging this could be in terms of friendships throughout this whole punk rock network.

In these writings there are numerous passages and references to the women that this guy meets and befriends in this scene.

But at the end of each passage or even within it, there is this tendency for him to start believing that all these "girls" are interested in him, or he's interested in them. There's some friendship and communication going on there so there's potential for maybe more. Shit, maybe he is right, maybe every girl he talks to has a hidden agenda, hell, maybe all the girls involved in this scene are only here for one reason, that reason to be flirtatious and track down a mate, what do you think girls? Do you like that perception? Make you feel comfortable? Hmmm, thought not.

I have a fair few female friends, I also have a fair few male friends. Where's the difference? Tell me, where's the fucking difference? Oh, boys and girls can fuck, I see. But hang on, this is the late 20th century, can't boys fuck boys and girls fuck girls? Are we still entrenched in the world of Mills & Boon novels of boy meets girl, girl meets boy and off together they go? Are we still that fucking repressed?

But I digress somewhat, so a guy talks to a girl, a girl talks to a guy. No big deal, it's nothing, a part of everyday social interaction and friendship, for some, for most maybe. But when I start reading stuff like "I think she was into me as she was so friendly" in a fanzine the alarm bells start to ring. Ok, so there are times when you deal with someone and there's some connection there, it's happened to me, I've been talking to a girl and I start thinking "Wow, she is really fucking cool" and I appreciate that feeling. It doesn't mean I'm looking to start a sexual relationship with her, that's ridiculous. If I start talking to a girl about fanzines, bands or whatever and after ten minutes we're laughing and joking together, that doesn't mean we've connected as a potential bed couple, it means we've initiated friendship, hopefully without a hidden agenda. Ok, she may well be pretty, she may well be smart, funny and engaging. But unless words are said then that's what it is, a simple friendship. Friends can be close, friends can touch, hold and smile. I hang out with girls at shows and do all of that, but I'm not thinking about how I can maybe get to the stage of ripping her underwear off with my teeth a bit later on! Jesus, I can be flirty, I've been called that by jealous girlfriends in the past, I like girls full stop. Most of the time I would rather be in the company of girls than guys, the conversation is usually on a slightly higher plateau!

But I'm not out to "get" these girls, no matter how pretty I may think they are, or how cool their smile is, they are friends...friends to be honest with, friends to inspire me, friends to respect. Respect, that's the crucial word, the fundamental ideology of what I'm trying to get to.
Basically punk guys are a bunch of sexually repressed little muppets. "Fuck you Dave!" I hear. Fair enough, that's a little harsh and a very broad generalisation.

But I know guys who go out of their way to make sure that it is a known fact that they like the hippest girl member bands, guys who go out of their way to write to female zinesters and fawn over anything that has female input, regardless of quality. I find that kinda sad, I get to deal with a lot of girls in this punk scene. I don't think about it to any great extent, I receive a mixed bag of mail week in-week out, I'll talk to girls on the telephone week in-week out. I also happen to talk to a lot of guys too. Where's the difference? I fail to see it, cool people are cool people and girls can be assholes too. Shit, maybe I'm weird, maybe I just don't see it...could I be extremely dumb and slow? When that girl calls me up to discuss music or some other standard topic, perhaps she's "checking me out", I could be "in there" you know. That's pretty damn fucking ridiculous isn't it? Not just ridiculous but bloody disrespectful too and it's an attitude that abhor.
Now there are exceptions of course, we are all human and sometimes we will meet somebody that will emotionally intoxicate us. It's happened to me. But for 99% of the time these interactions are purely friendship based. If someone says "Yeah, we'll have to meet up for a drink" that doesn't mean it's a date. Girls can be mates too, they can be your buddies, lose that bullshit hidden agenda and just be a cool cat. We can all do it, I'm not saying that I've got it right and I'm the perfect gentlemen friend to all.

I'm just executing a little fucking respect and hopefully people will realise that and my friendships will continue...whatever sex anyone may be. It's not an issue.

But I was reading this guy's fanzine, it just came across as such a crappy way to behave. I think to express those thoughts in print, a place where people will read them, is wrong, I think to have those thoughts is a little pathetic, but at the same time quite natural, but to express them and have the people who they may be about read them and feel uncomfortable and let down, then that's wrong. Alienation is all what's being practised and if you instil a fear into people that every guy thinks that way, then that is indeed a sad thing. I don't need my female friends thinking in the back of their minds that my friendship is just a route to their bedroom and that I'm just waiting for the right time to "Get it on" with them. That is just stupid and offensive for me personally.

There are exceptions of course, if someone comes up to you and says "I really think you should come home with me so we can fuck" then you pretty much have an idea as to where things are going! But guys, when a girl comes up to you at a show and says "Would you like to buy a fanzine?" then that's what it means Ok? It's doesn't mean "I would really like to show you my tits at a later date". When a girl you know starts laughing and says "You're pretty funny" then it means she likes what you are saying, it doesn't translate to "You are funny, I really would like your dick in my mouth".

Just think a little and have a heap load of respect for your fellow punkers out there, we have enough bullshit to be dealing with without adding to it.

See, now I got the girls on my side. I know it pays to be a sensitive guy, that's how I get all the chicks! Ok, enough of that! I have now moved to London but the mail order stuff is still running out of Cambridge for the time being, until I grab a post office box anyway.

So if you wanna check out the humungus list (17 pages) of records, CD's & tapes at seriously low prices just send a stamp to Coolsville c/o 26 Union lane, Cambridge,CB4 1QB. or e-mail: DS@coolsville.demon.co.uk

All correspondence is welcomed but would death threats please include a return address...it's common decency. Thanks for reading buckaroos.

David Stuart.